It's just...

Do you ever have one of those days when it feels sort of awkward to be alive? Today is one of those days for me. No, I'm not totally emo, nor am I suicidal. I have no qualms about living, I just don't know exactly what I am supposed to be doing, where I am supposed to be going... who I am supposed to be. I skipped my first two classes today and I'm not sure why. I'm trying not to be chubby and unattractive... but why? I don't really care if I'm chubby, and it certainly isn't a health concern. What am I trying to prove?! I'm trying to be a good person, but a lot of me all of a sudden doesn't want to be. Ah, I drive myself crazy. I feel like I am missing some totally obvious point, and in the meantime absolutely nothing makes any sense. Could somebody please explain it to me? I just don't get it.