My Pap Smear

I was beginning to think that perhaps I had no cervix at all. My pap smear results were taking quite a long time, and I figured they just didn't find anything whatsoever up there. Although I was excitedly anticipating a letter going something like:

Dear Mykala,
When processing the swab from your pap smear in the lab, we found no cells whatsoever. It turns out that you, in fact, do not have a cervix. You will no longer be required to have annual pap smears (or as we like to call them in the office "coochie swabs"), and will not be able to have babies. Ever.

Thanks for your business,
The Vag Clinic

I didn't get a letter like that. It was totally a lame letter telling me I was completely normal. Psh. Life can be so boring sometimes.